We all, of course, do love our parents! There’s no doubt about that. But oftentimes, the relationship between a parent and their adult child is as complicated as the relationship between a parent and their teen child. Your adult days, especially after your marriage is the time both you, as well as your parents are confronting new challenges that life’s throwing at you. On one side, you’re trying to lay a foundation for your new relationship with your partner whereas on the other side, your parents might be stepping into the world of retirement from both their career and you. These phases are similar, yet drastic in a way. And this chunk of revolution needs forging of a new bond between the two of you, the bond between two adults rather than caressing the bond between a parent and a child.
There’s not much work here, you already have the shared memories and love as your underpinnings. Just add on to that — mutual respect, common problems, similar interests, etc. The key to beautifying your relationship with your parents after marriage is to not focus on what has changed with the entry of a new human (your partner) into your lives. Here are a few rules that’ll help you in doing the same. Give it a read.
1. Don’t Think Of Them As Parents. Take Them Like Your Fellow Adults
There are quite a number of parents who treat their adult children like kids even after their children have become parents. In such cases, there’s only one thing you can do and that is to help them “grow up.” It’s very simple; treat them like a fellow adult for them to start treating you like one. When you have interactions with them, think “What would I think if I was told what I’m telling my parents right now?” Such questions will help you understand the behavioral pattern of your parents better. This will naturally help you bond better with them. Also, if you call up your parents only to ask favors, you need to stop! Because you’re grown up now and all your needs should be taken care of by just you.
2. Keep In Touch With Them
You must not be living with your parents because you have a job in some other city, state, or probably another country. It can also be that your parents must’ve just shooed you away to make you more responsible. The reasons can be plenty and vivid alright, but whatever it might be, it’s your first and foremost duty to call them once in a while and be in touch.
It’s absolutely normal for your parents to act like a child and treat you like one when you’re seeing them after a very long gap. Parents yearn for love and care as much as we did from them when we were kids. So, now is your time to give them the love back. If you’re in constant touch, they’ll realize their child has grown up and will start treating you like a grown up.
3. Respect Their Opinions, Their Rules, Their Beliefs
They came into this world much before you, right? They’ve seen the world, experienced life a little longer than you have. So, respect their rules by which they’ve lived and brought you up. It’s okay if you don’t want to follow their path, but you must never stop respecting their ways of life. Respect your parents for what they were, they are, and are becoming. Only then will they try to understand your way of living life as well.
4. Don’t Take Your Parents For Granted
There are a dozen children out there who never call their parents the entire week. But when the weekend approaches, they plan on leaving behind their kids at their parents’ place and head out on a weekend getaway. Now, who told you that your parents had no weekend plans of their own? You assumed that, right? This is something you shouldn’t be doing. Whenever you are deciding on such things, it’s always important to ask them, especially if it’s your in-laws. Don’t predict they’re free and always at your service.
5. Don’t Draw Boundaries; Talk About Them To Your Parents
There are a lot of parents who are attached to their kids. Even after they are married off, they’ll have this urge to know anything and everything about their children. They might become a little nosy towards your better half’s life as well which might go down that well, right? See, come to terms with the fact that you can never ask a parent to stop parenting (giggles). All you can do is, talk to them about the boundaries instead of marking them off and hurting them. Makes sense, right? Thank You!
Your parents and you love each other and always will, no matter what. Make these transitional times a little easier for both of you by keeping the above rules in mind. Any other rule here that you’d want to add to this list? Let us know in the comments below.
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